What an abandonment wound generally looks like:

It creates a series of limiting beliefs that are hardwired in the neurobiological pathway and play out in real-time through actions, decisions, words, thoughts, emotions, and feelings. Deep within the psyche is an inner child that believes & feels: “I’m not loveable. I’m not wanted. I’m not worthy. No one sees or hears me”. It believes you have to self abandon, putting others needs before your own, to make another love, see, hear, and want you. It deeply wants to be chosen and will try to achieve it at any cost. Manipulation, control and narcissistic behaviour, being an example

It forms underlays of deep rejection and issues around low self worth. It creates an anxious attachment style and super hypervigilance to mitigate and prevent any possibility of losing connection. It is common that the individual will form trauma bonding with others and project their wounding onto others. “You don’t love me, you don’t care about me”. This energetically forces people to leave, which reaffirms back to the inner child that he/she is not wanted or loved. It’s common that this person will attract in emotionally unavailable people. Essentially, it is a mirror into the subconscious lens.

It forms a fear of being alone and left out, which shows up in the lack of boundaries with self and with others. This is known as enmeshment, blurred boundaries, and a fawn response in the nervous system. It will say yes to everything, even if they feel no. Intuition and gut knowings are ignored; ego is control and the deep seated wounding is in the driving seat. The gut is so badly damaged from being in a dominant state of survival, resulting usually in irregular eating patterns (e.g. obesity, yoyoing, bulimia) and weight issues, poor digestion and bowel issues (IBS, constipation, Crohns), chronic inflammation. It doesn’t feel safe in the body; it’s safer and easier to dissociate and disembody

It hardwires a body and nervous system to live in chronic survival mode, which ripples into various behavioural patterns, self protection mechanisms and coping tools. For instance, over-giving and over-pleasing to feel wanted and seen; over-sharing and over-talking to feel heard; being silent and withholding self expression in fear of triggering or offending others, losing people and also to avoid conflict; and, overachieving to feel worthy e.g. through education, career, income, external stimulus like fancy cars and home.

Does this all sound familiar? Do you have an abandonment wound unconsciously dictating your life? Do you know it can all be healed?

It can be rewired through psychosomatics, through meeting the inner child and allowing them to be fully heard and seen, through re-parenting yourself, through dropping into the body and feeling old emotions stuck in the neural pathway. Through psychosomatic work, regulating the nervous system and balancing out the masculine-feminine internal energy system, you can create new hardwiring with updated beliefs and behaviours that match a much more higher version of yourself.

“Trauma is a psychic wound that hardens you psychologically that then interferes with your ability to grow and develop. It pains you and now you’re acting out of pain. It induces fear and now you’re acting out of fear. The essence of trauma is disconnection from ourselves. Trauma is not terrible things that happen from the other side—those are traumatic. But the trauma is that very separation from the body and emotions….. Knowing oneself comes from attending with compassionate curiosity to what is happening within.” (Dr Gabor Mate)

Meet Charlene, a wife and mammy of two. She began working with Danielle on healing childhood abandonment (father) and a by-product of this loss, deep levels of rejection and self worth issues..

After trying various modalities to heal her neural attachment wounding, limiting beliefs and contracted behavioural patterns, including years of talk therapy and life coaching, Charlene came to the realisation that the trauma she incurred was still live within her nervous system, limbic system and soma. Metaphysically, the trauma was dictating every move, action, decision, emotion, thought and vocabulary she spoke, every behaviour she enacted, every sensation she felt including tightness and panic in the chest and boldly pain. This was especially so in her jaw, shoulders, trapezius muscles, with markers all around her pelvic area.

She was in a blend state of fight to fawn response. Her behaviours included over sharing, over giving, over pleasing, staying super busy and never resting, withholding expression, severe food restriction, over exercising. As a result, she had severe bodily tension and bracing, gut issues and womb irregularities. Her psycho issues became somatic ones. There is NO separation – if your brain experiences an overwhelming event, so too does your body.

With neuroplasticity and vagal nerve toning, Charlene was able to resolve the wounds that were dictating her entire being. She was finally able to rewire all of these neurodevelopmental patterns, where she could meet her true, unconditioned, limitless self